Eggnog Etiquette

During the holidays, you eat and drink with everyone from your second cousin’s hair stylist to the soccer coach for your college roommate’s kid. If you have T1D, as I do, be ready for well-meaning people to ask you some of the same questions you’ve heard since the day you were diagnosed. Here’re  eight comments I hear most often, followed by suggestions on how to respond:

1. Are you going to eat that? People are horrified when they see you eating anything other than a stalk of celery. Respond by saying, “Yes, those of us with T1D can eat anything as long as we deliver ourselves enough insulin to account for how many carbs we’re consuming.” You know the drill. Yes, it’s tedious, but remain calm. You might feel better if you remind yourself you’re helping to enlighten the world about a common health misunderstanding.
   
   
2. Are you sure? A lot of well-intentioned people think they understand your disease better than you do. If necessary, pull medical science into the conversation. “Yes, I’m sure I can eat this. My treatment plan was designed specifically for me, by an endocrinologist. I appreciate your concern.”
   
   
3. Well, I know you can’t eat this so I won’t offer you any. More than a few hosts passing around a plate have said this to me. It’s usually uttered by someone moving fast—someone offering frosted snowman cookies or ladling out cups of rum-laced eggnog—so I don’t usually bother slowing their pace by correcting them. But if it’s impossible for you to let misinformation glide by, you only need five words: “I can. But no thanks.” Or, “Yes, I can. Thank you.” 
   
   
4. How can you have diabetes? You’re not shaped like Santa Claus. Suggested answer: “I’ve been asked that before because many people don’t realize there are two types of diabetes.” Then go on to explain what the differences are—if you have the time and patience. Otherwise, tell them to visit the JDRF website. 
   
   
5. Did you eat too many candy canes when you were little? This is a variation on the notion that only obese people have diabetes. “You know, I’m glad you asked that question. Quite a few people aren’t aware that type 1 diabetes has no connection with lifestyle, eating habits, or physical activity.” Again, if you’re eager to move on, mention the JDRF website. 
   
   
6. Do you really stick needles into yourself? Your impulse might be to say, martyr-like, “People do crazy things to stay alive.” But breathe deeply and slowly explain that it’s part of your daily routine. I like to quote the hospital nurse who taught me how to plunge syringes into myself. “After a week of this, it’ll be as easy as brushing your teeth.”
   
   
7. Does it hurt? I never mind this question. The simple answer is, “No.” Many years ago I realized I didn’t have the option of allowing injections to hurt, so 99 percent of the time they don’t. On the rare occasion when one does hurt, I don’t scowl or wince because my mind is occupied with wondering, what made it hurt? First things first.
   
   
8. You must hate the holidays. Why? Because there are more opportunities to eat? Does that make you hate the holidays?” Your delivery matters with this answer. Don’t sound defensive or angry.  

For people living with T1D, that’s a piece of advice to use throughout the year, and throughout life: Don't be defensive or angry. More than likely, anyone with assumptions, questions, or comments about your life with diabetes has your best interests at heart.