Books

I am attempting to write a book. But looking at the bigger picture, I am attempting to be an author. I feel that being a full-time author would be the most convenient job for be to have with my diabetes, or with anything I've ever wanted to do. I can just write and I write anyway so I'd have the flexible schedule I want and I'd be writing. But I know it's really hard to get there. It takes a long time to get there and I may not even get there. I'm really trying but I don't know what's wrong. I want to be able to live on my own even for just a little while. I just want to not be hungry or have anything to do or any other people who exist to make me think about them for one whole day. I want to be secluded for a very short amount of time and get something for myself done so I will feel at peace and then I can give my full concentration to the outside world. I just want to read and write for a big chunk of time by myself. But that can't happen because I need people around me all the time. It feels like I'll never really be able to be on my own ever because I'll always have diabetes and there's the chance that I can just slip into a coma and not even know it. I know that's drastic but I'm so aggravated with myself right now because I can't even take care of myself without someone having to help me. I hate having to be so dependent. 

I just want to write and read and sleep right now...