Re: Recently Lost Brother to Juvenile Diabetes

2 Weeks ago, my 28 year old brother (and best friend) passed away from Type-1 JD.  Most likely was Diabetic Ketoacidocis.  Am looking to discuss with anyone that has dealt with a similar situation, and how to best handle the grief and questions associated with this.

Hello,

My name is Stan.  I lost my brother 3 years ago to complications related to Type 1.  It was of course a very sad and disheartening situation.  After watching and helping him live with his diabetes for 38 years, I felt helpless and lost.  I am very willing to discuss with you any questions or topic you wish to talk about.

I belong to JDRF as a volunteer as well.  I donate my time on JDRF.org to help others in dealing with their diabetes.  I will be waiting to hear from you, I am here to listen and hopefully help you!!!

Warm Regards

Stan

Hi Stan,

I would like to call and talk to you when you have some time.  Can you give me your number and a good time to call.  I live in Florida, so am on EST.  Look forward to speaking with you.

Regards,

Brian

Hello,

I also lost a brother due to diabetes related issues.  it's a long story.  He did die due to DKA.  I am so sorry to hear about your brother.  He was so young!  I would love to hear more about him and his story.  This is a difficult topic for many to discuss unless they have been through it.  I am also the parent of two sons with diabetes and sometimes block out all the bad.  I can remember at the end of the funeral just laying over top of him crying because I felt like I too had lost my best friend.  The one person that was always there.  I would have done anything to change his life.   You have to take things one day at a time.  I guess the questions are "why?" and how did this happen?  Could I have prevented it?   Don't beat yourself up over it.  We can't predict the future.   I had all those questions for a while.  I had to come to my own conclusion that he is now for the first time since he was 2 free of diabetes.  that gave me some peace.  Grief is different for everyone.  It is a process we all go through when we lose a loved one. Take the time you need but remember that life doesn't stop around you, even if you wish it would.  If you need to cry, go ahead and cry. If you need to find away to remove your anger towards diabetes, do that.  I always find that exercise helps that.  Once I was ready, I found a new way to channel my grief.  If not for my kids, but for the memory of my brother, i became an advocate for JDRF.  I call my local representantives and express the need for more funding for research.  I let them know about my brother and what he went through and that I don't want that for my kids.  I volunteer for the JDRF online support team where I answer questions from newly diagnosed families to those just having a bad day with diabetes.  The first year he passed away we did the walk for a cure in his memory.  I should have done that each year.   I try to make life better for those I come in contact with that have diabetes.  It's a small thing in the grand scheme of finding a cure, but I don't want anyone to go through what he went through.  I  would be glad to correspond with you if you need to talk and vent or need someone to just listen. my email is pambellrealtor@comcast.net  

Hi Brian,

I sent you an email a few days ago with my phone number and my email address so you can contact me.  If you did not get it, please let me know and I will resend it.  I am waiting to hear from you.  PLease write soon so I can talk to you.  Thanks!

Stan

I'm very sorry to hear about your brother.  That's got to be very difficult for you.  I once had a very close relative very close to me die becuase of diabetes maybe.  I may share the story on a new thread later.  But, the thing I did that maybe helped the most was to go to greif support workshop at a church.   I usually don't go to church but a close friend told me about it and I went.  Made me deal with it up cloase just a couple of months later.  Maybe try to find some greif counselling or support group in your area?

One thing I read in a book that makes a lot of sense to me.  That was that you often feel like it's not OK to feel good becuase you've lost this very important person to you.  However, they are no closer to you when you are sad, than when you are feeling OK.  Hold them close in your heart.  Don't know, it helped me. 

Hello Brain,

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and accept my deepest condoliences. I have also lost my brother 8 yrs ago from diabetes complications. He was 4 months away from his 21st birthday. When he passed away it broke my heart since he was my only brother, my little brother and my friend. He was diagnosed when he was 10 yrs old when he had the flu. For the 1st 2 yrs of the disease he was doing great by always checking and taking his insulin and eating properly, but the he turned into a teenager and wanted to be "normal" so he started doing what he wanted and was very careful about his health. After yrs of this abuse he moved in with me when he turned 19 and of course here in canada that is legal age to drink and that is what he wanted to do. And no matter what me or my parents said or did he still did it. So when he passed away I felt/feel responsible, if I had only pushed more or been there I may have been able to change the outcome.

Of course this is going to be one of the hardest times in your/our lives. But one thing I keep remembering is what someone told me when I told them my brother's story - No matter how hard we try the ones will love will always make their own decisions.

Hopfully knowing that someone else has been through the same situation will bring you some comfort.

Hello,

I just found this site and also lost my 20 year old son to a sudden DKA one year ago.  The questions are still many and our grief is still very fresh.  Our family is like a 3 legged table now.  Still functioning, but not as good as we once were.   My daughter is only 12.5 months older and was also her brothers best friend.  I hurt for her so much and all that she has lost.  

You may contact me anytime.